Failure is not an option, yet I continue to do so.

I havent been on here in a few weeks. At first, I was very excited to do this but it seems the flame has died. I think it will pick back up again. And this is precisely what this post is going to be about about. Its going to be a rant about myself. I need to get it out there just because I need to express how I feel.

My life is kinda like this blog. I can always start something. That isn't the problem. Seeing it through is a problem for me though. I cant even begin to describe the amount of things that i have started and not finished. I used to be huge into art. So much so, that I had a portfolio filled with pieces I did. I sent them to colleges, hoping to impress and be accepted to art school. Well, I quit that. Just kinda drifted off in another direction I guess. Music is another thing. I try so hard to get really into it and create things at a rapid pace and then the fire dies. And the same goes with my spiritual life. I get really on fire and want to sell my things and want to learn more and more and more, and read the Bible every stinking day. I want to set up a scheduled time that I dedicate to God. I never see it through though. The fire dies.

I know there are people out there that hold me to high standards. It's very disappointing to me that they look at me this way because I fail so much that I can barely even look at myself in the mirror. There are several issues in my life that plague me to the point where I wish God would just take away my free will completely because that would seem a better option than allowing me to sin. The worst part about it is that I do it willfully. I know what I do is wrong, and still do it. I don't know if anyone else has problems like this. Materialism and lust are my two weak points. I know lust is a problem in every guys life at some point but I have had it. I am so sick and tired of turning the tv on and seeing whores. I am sick of walking outside of my house and seeing them walking around on the street. I cant help but look, but at the same time I hate it so much I cant even describe the feeling. And then you have materialism. Its the reason I like playing dungeon crawlers and MMOs. I love getting new things and showing them off to people. I think I need things that I really dont. My dad calls me all the time and tells me things that he got for a really good price, this and that. I think to myself when he tells me these things, "Do you really need that? I mean, don't you already have 2 boats?" Its so easy for me to think that about other people but I struggle thinking that way myself. I hate America. I hate this country we live in and that for which it stands. It does not stand for freedom. It stands for materialism, murder, sex, and entertainment. Most in this country are slaves to these things so what good does freedom do us anyways?

I recently played this game called Loved on New Grounds. It started out as just a decent game you know. Nothing special. When you first start it, a mysterious character asks you, "Are you a Man, or a Woman?" I chose man. "No, you are a girl". I was like wtf, no Im not. And throughout the game you get asked these random questions that make no sense at the time. He asks you to do random things like stand still for 5 seconds, or throw yourself into a pit of spikes. Things you would never do voluntarily, even in a game. Its a very short game so when I went through it the first time, I disobeyed the voice constantly. The game became harder and harder the more I disobeyed and the screen got very shuffled and mixed up so it was hard to see where you were going. I got to the end and the voice asked "Why do you hate me so much? I love you." So at this point, I just had to play it again the right way. I told him I was a Man. He said I was a girl. I listen to his every word. At the end of the game, he asked me, "Are you a boy, or a girl?" I said, "Boy". He said, "No, you are a Man." This literally brought tears to my eyes. Never in my life has a game brought tears to my eyes but this one did it. I realized that this game was a complete analogy to our christian walk with God. Every move you made in the game determined your relationship with God in the end. I highly encourage all of you reading this to play it.

Anyway, I just wanted to write about that because I am bored right now and depressed because I can never live up to the standard that I want to. I ask that you guys pray for me and my issues. If any of you want prayer for anything, just let me know.

A Clever Disguise

I have been thinking about something for a while now and I am sure you might have even heard me rambling on about it if you know me. This one question has been playing over and over in my head. What is a Terrorist? Websters dictionary defines terrorism as the systematic use of terror especially as means of coersion. Yes terrorism is a real thing. There are plenty of people out there using terror to... well... terrify people. It is a sad thing but it really happens.

But don't you get the feeling that the White House throws around that term a bit too loosely? Ever get that feeling that Hollywood does too? What about the newspapers or the broadcasting networks? What about your church? My point is that just because someone is involved with something that may be considered hostile, does that really make them a terrorist?

These days it seems like everyone is a terrorist. The second something bad goes down, people scream terrorism. What if it that dude that took control of the train took hostages was just a pissed of banker? Or that dude who beat the snot out of that one guy just had one too many bad conversations that day?

In my opinion, people are being brainwashed. They are being told that anyone who disagrees with the standard moral code of society is a terrorist. And it's all cleverly veiled under a shroud of public safety. When the moral code drops to abysmal standards, anyone who disagrees with a sensitive subject is emotionally stoned to death by the public. Pretty soon I feel like we christians are going to be labeled as such. The church today is slowly adopting the sinful nature. It is becoming more and more dangerous to speak out against homosexuality, abortion, and a slew of other things.

One last comment. Today, it is semi-tolerated to speak out against abortion. But our medical facilities are private organizations. What happens when Obamas health care plan starts to fully develop? The whole green movement is starting to take hold and people of high monetary status are promoting population stabilization through the medical establishments. Do you think that the people speaking out against abortion will be labeled terrorists? I mean, they are jeopardizing our wonderful planet... aren't they?

Let me know how you guys feel about this.

Correct Me If I'm Wrong

Hey guys, I just wanted to make something clear to everyone. If you ever write something that I disagree with or find offensive to the Word of God, I am going to make sure to say something about it. I am not saying this to be mean or to be prude. I am saying this because I fully expect the exact same from everyone of you people whom I trust. The last thing in the world I want to do is steer someone the wrong way and if I need to be spanked for doing that, then please, spank me.

I also want to say another thing. I dont want you to believe a single word that I say. No, I am not a trustworthy individual. In fact, I am so unreliable that I don't even trust myself sometimes. Never, ever, ever, especially in these days, take anything anyone ever says as truth. There are so many lies circulating in our churchs, minds, and schools, that it is imperative that we individually seek out what God has to say about a matter. This includes what I have to say and you, yourself, have to say. That is why I hope you judge what I say by your own research just as I will do the same to you. The Word of God is the only real truth we have and I intend to judge everything I ever encounter in life solely by it alone.

Thoughts on Angels

For the past few years I have been studying the Bible. The more I get into it, the more I realize how it is integrating itself into my life more and more. It is truly a living book and it seems like it reveals certain things to me as it deems fit. Truly, it is a remarkable and unparalleled experience.

Hebrews 4:12
"For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

I have, in the last couple years, been studying angels. When you really think about it, they are fascinating. God brought me to Genesis 6 one day and my views of them changed immensely from that point on.

Genesis 6:1-2
"And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them, That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose."

Now many people believe that this was the Ungodly line of Cain marrying with the Godly line of Seth. This is ridiculous. If this was so, then surely the line of Seth would have been spared because they would have been Godly. But no, only Noah and his family were spared along with 2 of every unclean animal and 7 of every clean one.

Genesis 6:8
"But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord."

It clearly states that they were the only people on the ENTIRE planet that were perfect in their generations.

Genesis 6:9
"These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God."

I firmly believe that these "sons of God" were fallen angels. Also, note that there are no daughters of God mentioned. Only daughters of men. Angels literally came down from the high places and took themselves women. I dont know exactly what they did to them but clearly they had offspring. I know angels dont have reproductive organs because they were created to be eternal beings. But what about fallen angels? They shed their first estate in favor of a sinful life.

Jude 1:6-7
"And the angels which kept not their first estate, but left their own habitation, he hath reserved in everlasting chains under darkness unto the judgment of the great day. Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire."

Jude is comparing what the angels did to what happened to Sodom and Gomorrha! The word "habitation" is called Oiketerion in Greek. It literally means habitation but in the SPIRITUAL sense. When we die, God will give us our oiketerion, or house. Its only used in two verses in the entire Bible. Jude 1:6 and...

2 Corinthians 5:2
"For in this we groan earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven."

House is the translation for oiketerion. So the angels had to shed there spiritual body, what we long for, in order to do what they did!

There are also many people who say that a son of God is a human. To that I say yes, you are correct to an extent. The only time any human is called a son of God is after the resurrection of Christ. Listen to all these verses talking about sons of God.

Genesis 6:2
"That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose."

Genesis 6:4
There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.

Job 1:6
"Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them."

Job 2:1
"Again there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them to present himself before the LORD."

Job 38:7
"When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?"

John 1:12
"But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name"

Romans 8:19
"For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God."

Paul goes even further in Philippians. He explains what it takes to be the sons of God. That means that it is a conditional title to be bestowed upon whom God decides to. We are not born sons of God.

Philippians 2:15
"That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world"

There you have it. The Nephilim were the offspring of fallen angels and women of the earth. Its shocking, I know, but it is the word of God. More on this subject later!

Welcome all you who are weary!

Looks like you stumbled across my blog! This is a landmark day for me as I have never once been involved in blogging. Honestly, I have thought my life to be too boring to have anything to write about. Thats why I will not be telling you about my life. Instead, I will be communicating the activities of my brain. The thoughts that just take to much time to get out in person. I have lots of theories and conjecture in just about all areas of life and I would love to discuss them with you.

I am not a huge fan of debating (a formal word for arguing) but I do enjoy a good discussion/conversation. Chances are, I'm set in my ways just as you are set in yours so you will need adequate proof to convince me of anything. There will always be things that I believe to be true only through situations and circumstances that I have been through. Often times in cases like that I will not be able to prove to you why I believe something. So I will not try to.

So for now that's all I have to say because... well... it's my bedtime and I have need to get up for work tomorrow. Stay metal!